Having a suspicion that your spouse is cheating is not easy to deal with. The very thought of the person you love and trust being unfaithful can make you stressed, cause you great pain, and forces you to have to know the truth. So how do you go about finding out if your spouse or partner is cheating without being possessive or sounding crazy? Here are some tips to help you know when it is time to confront your spouse about a concern that he or she may be cheating. Hint: these are not full proof steps to know for sure that your spouse is cheating, but it may help you to figure out a suspicion you’ve been having.
Does your spouse go away from home a lot? One way to find out if your spouse is cheating is to recognize if he or she is staying out late, not coming home on time, or spending overnights elsewhere often. Many people use the excuse that they are working late, have to go out of town for meetings, or are doing something for a friend, family member, or anyone else they are close to. When excuses start arising often for reasons a spouse is not staying home a lot, you may want to worry about him or her being unfaithful. A cheating spouse will not want to be home much, either out of guilt or to spend time with the person he or she is cheating with. If your spouse is leaving home 4 or more times a week, is may indicate that he or she is having an affair.
Are you finding strange phone numbers or other contact information on your spouse’s phone or elsewhere? When a spouse is cheating, he or she will usually have numbers or unusual contact information on them that you’ve never seen before. He or she may also slip up easily and leave this information laying around if they are cheating. Trying to live a double life isn’t easy and when someone is cheating, they are unable to keep up the charade consistently without accidentally leaving a trail. Check your spouse’s pockets in his clothing, wallet, or cell phone for numbers or contact information if you think he is cheating. A word of advice: you need to be cautious when doing this so as not to get caught, and yes…it is sneaky. But, if you have a real concern that your spouse is being unfaithful, you may have to go to extremes to find out.
Does your spouse act cold or distant with you? One way to tell if a spouse is cheating is by how they act when they are home or out in public with you. An unhappy spouse who is being unfaithful will usually show signs of pushing away the other person who loves them. See if your spouse is acting different, being less affectionate, or snapping at you over silly little things. Another way to tell if your spouse is cheating is to ask him or her what is wrong. If you get the cold shoulder, he or she gets upset, or he or she acts defensive, they may be being unfaithful. Though this is not always true, because something else could be wrong, it is a good indication that something is wrong in your relationship if your spouse gets defensive or quiet around you. This is especially true if you are the only one showing affection and appreciation in the marriage.
Ask your spouse point blank if he is cheating. Watch for his reaction. Beware when taking this step because it could start a fight. If your spouse becomes defensive, avoids the question, or walks away, you may have your answer about his unfaithfulness. A spouse who is cheating will have an unusual reaction to the question of cheating. He will either yell and get upset, become nervous and antsy, or avoid the question altogether by talking about something else. However, if your spouse talks about your feelings with you and is understanding about your concerns, you probably have nothing to worry about and can feel safe knowing your spouse is faithful to you. Sometimes, the best way to find out if your spouse is cheating is just to talk to him about it. Trust your gut feeling about his reaction and you can usually tell if something is wrong. However, this isn’t always the fool proof way to know if a spouse is cheating because some people just are not comfortable during confrontation and will react oddly because of it.
Listen to friends and family that tell you your spouse is cheating. Hearing stories that your spouse is being unfaithful is not easy, but should be considered as truth if you are being told by more than just one person. Sometimes people on the outside see things that we don’t notice or want to believe. No, gossip is not always true and doesn’t necessarily mean that your spouse is cheating. However, if the people telling you your spouse is being unfaithful are those that love and care about you, you may want to consider the stories and confront your spouse with them. Often times, we love someone so much that we don’t want to see the bad in them. This can make it hard when hearing that the one we love is being unfaithful. But, if you want to know if your spouse is cheating, you probably should listen to the stories you are hearing if the sources are reputable. When friends or family tell you that they are hearing your spouse is cheating on you, they probably know more than you because they are open to the fact that it might be true. Confront your spouse with what you are hearing about his infidelity and tell him that you have heard it from more than one reputable source.